Working with Morons
I had a day off work today. As I was kicking back on my couch, enjoying the air conditioning in front of my widescreen tv, with Saving Private Ryan blasting through my speakers in 5.1 dts I was given pause as too just how good it was not to go to work.
That was mainly because of the various morons in the office I have to deal with each day.
So I have decided to summarise the various types of idiots you meet in the office.
The "I'm so important" Moron
This is the idiot who thinks he/she is so important that you need to know every detail of what he did on the weekend and what he is doing throughout the day.
"I'm going to this meeting now"
"I'm going to see this client"
"I'm going to lunch now"
"I'm going to see this person now"
"I'm going to go take a shit now"
"I'm going to be in the library if anybody wants me"
No moron. Nobody wants you. Nobody gives a fuck where you are going or what you are doing. Just go and fucking do it.
This is also the idiot that bignotes himself at every opportunity in everything he does.
"Come look what I got given on the weekend"
"When I was there I did......"
He also gives himself special titles and hyper-bullshits about what he does.
"I am managing a team doing this. Due to my management, my team has brought in this/that/x amount of y.
No moron. They are not your team and you are not their manager. Your job was to provide technical assistance to the team. That is it. If they can't figure out something that the client has done related to the law/policy/guidelines/standards that apply they come and ask you for assistance. That's it.
Every office in the world has one of these.
The Scottish Jew
This is the person whose primary concern is money.
The one who pulls a calculator out to determine the cost of a lunch per person to two decimal places. The one who prevents you going to nice restaurants because they don't want to pay more than $2.95 per person for a lunch. The one who puts in $10 at a $9.95 per person event and stands there afterwards
"Gimme my five cents. Gimme my five cents"
He even has the nerve to try and charge you for borrowing his stapler/sticky tape/hole punch - the same ones the office provides.
The only redeeming quality these morons sometimes have is that they know they are Scottish Jews and freely admit to it.
The "It's my right" Moron
Every rule/statement the employer makes is against this guy's unlimited rights .
"It's my right to have a two hour lunch"
"It's my right to not do this urgent task if there is something else I would rather do"
"It's my right to have a newspaper delivered to my desk by the employer"
"It's my right to call in sick without a medical certificate as many times as I want"
What about our right to have you shut the fuck up so we can do our work in peace?
The Accidental Manager
This is the manager who basically stumbled into the position over more qualified and more knowledgeable applicants. Tries his hardest to tell you to do things his way but the second any one of these more qualified people stands their ground and tells him the correct way to do things he backs away.
There are more than this. Look for an update in the future.
I hate going to work with idiots. Actually I hate idiots in general.
© by
Tiberius Alatheus 2004