Weddings, Parties .. anything ... (part 2)
It has occurred to me that the very concept of hosting an "event" (and may I use the term loosely), brings out the worst
in people. We are the epitome of the "Sex in the City" generation where we find ourselves questioning whether the 30s is
the new 20s. If that is the case, I have arguments supporting the fact that my circle of acquaintances have not progressed
mentally from the moment they left high school .. hear me out ..
Event (definition): When there is a party to throw, and you are the host in theory but in practice you are too lazy to
entertain your guests gastronomically. (Source: Tiber-Mere et.al. dictionary 2004)
Picture this scenario. You are in your 30s, and you have financially stabilised and gotten on top of your bills and
miscellaneous expenditure. You would have put a down deposit for your first house, changed from your first car to a
more impractical sportier number and paid off your debt to the government. You may have entertained the notion you are
"settling down" and you may have even twiddled with the notion that you are more worldly and interesting as a result
of your experiences ...
*BLARING HORNS*
WRONG!!
You're just as boring as the day you left school, and you have nothing really interesting to contribute to the
intellectual pool we call the general universe, and you are in theory - a waste of precious space. Your very
presence robs the rest of us humankind of the ability of allocating our scare resources to make the most viable
economic decisions we can. Let me put it in simple terms so you may understand.
"I am getting older by the minute. Every minute brings me closer to death. Every minute you waste just ensures that annoyance
and anger within me festers like a blister waiting to burst open and reveal its mutating pustule. You inspire me to kick
the shit out of you for being so boring and wasting my life. You always make me feel my life pales in comprarison to yours
when it was never a competition to start off with. Where do you get off making me feel bad about myself? I can do that all
by myself without your help, thank YOOOOOu. You do not contribute to my growth except to stunt it. It is people like you who cause unrest."
It's like setting fire to Julie Andrews. It's annoying but obvious.
I make choices in my life. As my Sex in the City sisters say, I spend my time celebrating your choices - your going away
on a trip around the world party, housewarming, your engagement, your wedding, your baby shower, your childrens'
christenings, your childrens' birthdays .. I've stopped after my 21st, and recently my 30th birthday (which I did not
make an event of it - where have you celebrated me for five full minutes without turning the conversation back to
yourself? (And yes, I own up to my age)
Is my life more trivial than yours? Last time I checked, the world did not revolve around you. In fact, the universe
does not revolve around the world, so you have no hope in hell.
I may not have made the "right" choices as they are perceived to the "done thing to do" but I believe my choices are
just as important as yours. I didn't throw a party when I finished my MBA (gosh yes, an intelligent an articulate
inmate in our midst!), which I believe was still a feat in itself considering I paid for the whole thing with blood,
sweat and tears. I thought that the very notion of advertising something like that is quite bourgeois - enough said.
The most I got from my "friend" was "oh, congratulations on passing .. and now back to me !"
How does this relate to Weddings and Parties? I think you are smart enough to work out that if you suck in hosting one
you suck at hosting another.
I'd write more, but I am off to spend it with someone who really matters.
Goes off and joins Tiberius in plotting world domination.
MORAL:
Money can't buy you class or the ability to be a considerate person. You're just born selfish and you don't
deserve to be in my social circle. Now fuck off !!!
(c) Merewenne de Berebrewer @ The Asylum 2004
merewenne.deberebrewer@gmail.com