It's a tag team hate mail smackdown
Just now I was doing some web surfing and went over to Michael Cooper's most excellent site and started to read his latest smackdown of stupid hate mail from some stupid bitch named Merry Brisnell when it occurred to me that I had seen that name before somewhere.
Sure enough, as I scanned back through my email, there was another poorly written email from Merry Brisnell from a couple of weeks back. While I had been too busy to waste time on it back then, now seems like a good time to address it.
So here it is:
Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 01:04:49 +0000
From: Merry Brisnell
Subject: Your amazin' site
To: "tiberius_alatheus"
First of all, let me tell you that I think you are almost funny, and with a little more effort, you could have a very interesting website based on your obvious love of ranting. However, I had to laugh when I read the article about how you are the perfect man, or whatever it was exactly. You are almost forty and this is your life? Ranting in anonymity on the internet? Screaming "fucktards" at those who dissagree with you? And misspelling half of the words your froth covered hands clack out on the keyboard?
My god, you truly are the most lonely masturbator I have ever had the
displeasure of encountering on the internet. I'd love to throw some liberal line here about how I pity you and hope that you eat your final bag on cheezits somewhere else than in the corner of your parents' basement, bathing in the loving glow of your computer monitor, but I can't.Keep up the good work, Gramps.
What a fucking tool.
Who made you literary god of good writing? With your intellect, what you find funny is limited to fart jokes and naughty words. You would not know good writing if bit you on the ass (or fucked you up the ass like a whore as is your preference)
Like anyone is going to pay any attention to someone who uses a french bread stick as a dildo (you can just tell) about what she thinks classifies as “good writing”. You dipshit. You can't even read.
I don't know what page you were reading because I have never said I am the perfect man. A real man, yes. A perfect man - no because there is no such thing - it is our imperfections that make us great. And Nearly 40? Where the fuck did you get that from? I am a shitload closer to 20 than I am 40 and have never said otherwise.
And someone who can't read is going to try and tell me what constitutes good writing?
And a lonely masturbating? Awwww. Is the french bread stick becoming a bit boring? Stop projecting. Some of us actually have very fulfilling sex lives, and some of us even get to have them with actual living people!
In fact just the other day I was thinking about how cool it was that with my awesome sexual prowess I have totally spoiled my ex in terms of sex, and have therefore also spoiled it for any guy that follows me – especially if he is an older guy, as he could never keep up with me. Not really relevant to this but I thought it deserved mentioning anyway. Fuck I rule!
Sorry but you are clearly an illiterate super mega fuggly hag.
I don't blog from my parents’ basement (which is clearly where yours have had you locked away in embarrassment for the greater part of your existence). And the reason it took so long to get around to commenting on this shitty excuse for an email from you is actually the same reason why I don't write everyday and at times have gone a week or more without posting - as stated earlier, my life is too busy to allow me to sit at the computer and write everyday - something your "life" of being locked in your parents’ basement clearly allows you to do.
And cheezits are shit and only crack whores and child molesters would eat them.
We probably could do more but I get the distinct feeling that she might consider this a gang bang and actually enjoy it.
© by Tiberius Alatheus 2004