Why did she cheat on me – One, because she is a slut, and two, probably because you are a fucking moron who asks deep subjective questions like this one of a computer.

Pics of my parents fucking – You sick leftist fuck.

A woman I can fuck – Give it up moron. If you type this into a computer YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY. Not even a prostitute would fuck you so just accept the fact that your hand will be the only action your dick ever sees.

I want to fuck princess peach – Yeah. Ok.

Why am i a fucking loser – Because you ask questions like this of a computer?

Define fuckwit – You.

Horse is fucking a bitch – This is another from one of Germany's small percentage (~82%) of perverts.

How to fuck your girlfriend’s mother – This is a complex multistep process so pay attention. First of all, you must always compliment her on her appearance. Then you just need to flat out tell her to leave her husband and run away with you. That bit is obviously made easier if your girlfriend doesn't have a mother (which should be easier for you as I am pretty sure blow up dolls don't have mothers). Then you need mail her a dead bird with a note pinned on its chest reading "Unlike this bird, my love for you will never die." closely followed by any sort of roadkill with a note reading "What a car did to this animal, you have done to my heart." Trust me, older chicks love that sort of shit.

You are nearly there so stick with it. By now you should have ditched (or deflated in your case) your girlfriend and be concentrating on the mother. Now you need to mail her some sort of gun with an inscription engraved on it somewhere. Something like "Keep this close to your heart to defend against those who would disturb our love."

Okay, now we come to the final part - a big surprise party. You need to go around to her house in the middle of the night. You need to make sure the weapon is close by to her. You need to strip down completely naked, keeping the lights low, and wake her up from the doorway of her bedroom and announce something like "I am her to make love to you and seal our relationship my love" and then walk ever so very slowly towards her.

You girlfriend's mother will be beside herself and guarantee 150% that you will fucked very soon after that. I will even pay you $1,000,000 if for some reason this doesn't work. Just trust me and try it.