Real Men

Real Men

Firstly, can any real men please stand up? I would like to clarify that while metrosexual is the new black at the moment, it is also synonymous with being really GAY. The only thing that stops a bloke from crossing the GAY divide is the fact that they do blokey things like watch the footy and get drunk on beer.

While there is nothing wrong with men who moisturise and take care in their appearance, alarm bells would start ringing when a guy comes across as more high maintenance than a girl. Let’s face it, girls are by nature, more high maintenance than guys, and guys secretly love girls who dress up and parade in front of them like they are watching some catwalk model. Girls, cannot stand guys who are more vain than they are or anyone who clocks up more time in front of a mirror.

There is also something inherently wrong in the scales of balance when one refers to their new “metrosexual shirt” or “metrosexual haircut”. Oh, there is a market out there for vain men. After all, research has uncovered that while the household budget has tightened with the rising cost of fuel, one thing that has not suffered is sales of cosmetics and beauty products. Quite scary, really, when this statistic goes beyond a “woman’s” spending.

I find it disconcerting that a man would want to wear fitted shirts and spend time moisturising with a tube of moisturiser. I also find it just as disconcerting when he uses more hair products when I do when he comes out of the shower.

Find me a beer drinking, burping, bum scratching bloke. There is nothing wrong with waking up first thing in the morning and grabbing the “crown jewels” to check if they are still intact. That is quite endearing.

However, failing all that, you will find that after awhile, we either start treating them as our girlfriends, or we just realise that we understand women better and think about becoming lesbians. Hell, we may just throw in the towel altogether and just become one. It was found that a guy who donated his sperm to two lesbians had to pay for child support as he was the biological father, even though he expressedly said that he was not to take any part in the child’s rearing or life. So since we don’t really need men at all, and can still bleed them financially dry .. lesbianism seems quite an exciting option.

While we already maintain that all the good ones are either married or gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that), to lose the remaining contenders to the metrosexual revolution is just plain wrong. Give me a real man.

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