All psychics are frauds.
I am almost lost for words. Some people are so goddamn stupid it is unbelievable.
Let's assume you are the kind of dumbass who believes in magic and angels and psychics and all that shit. You come to me with a problem and I tell you it is because someone has put a curse on you. If you give me $40,000 to "cleanse", I can break the curse and then return the money and all will be well. You will get all the money/sex/chocolate/pizza hut stores/cars etc your heart desires. Now what do you say to me?
Well if you are anything like the dipshits on Today Tonight, you say "Ok. Here is $40,000. Make my curse disappear."
There is this mother and daughter in law team that started out here in WA, then moved on to Sydney and now Melbourne who portray themselves as "powerful psychics" and "spellbreakers" and apparently every moron that goes to see them is suffering from a curse, which these two claim they can get rid of, having some super duper psychic power which is apparently unique to them.
Oh these people are suffering a curse, just not the magical kind.
Their curse is that of incomprehensible stupidity. On the television was a never-ending stream of morons (both male and female - though predominantly female) saying how much they had been taken for a ride.
$700.
$2000.
$5000.
$10,000.
One dickhead, identified as "successful businessman Rod" dropped $15,000, indicating that perhaps he is not as successful as he told Today Tonight he was. Or perhaps there is a flaw in the capitalistic system that sometimes allows stupid morons like this to be successful?
But the cake goes to one stupid bitch who handed over FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Holy shit! How does someone so stupid even get a hold of $40,000 long enough to hand it over to some con artist?
She asked the con artist why she needed the money to "cleanse" and got told that all the problems come from money and that because she wasn't psychic, she wouldn't understand how it all works so not to worry about it. And the stupid bitch bought it!
Then she has the gall to say "It can happen to anyone"
ARGH! Not it can't, you moron! It can only happen to morons who believe all this psychic bullshit!
That's it. I'm starting a psychic hotline. Hell, if James and Leigh will let me (and for a share of the profits), I will run it through A Western Heart as well.
I am psychic. Very often I have visions of myself doing something and then days, months, or even years later, I do it and then remember having a vision about it.
A friend at work was absent for a few days. She could have been on holidays for all I knew but I had a bad feeling something was wrong with a male relative of hers - father, brother, fiancé - I couldn't be sure but sure enough I found out a few days later upon her return to work that her father was diagnosed with lung cancer.
And just this very day I was out with a mate going for a walk at lunch when out of the blue I mentioned something about seeing this dipshit hypnotist (more bullshit but that is a topic for a different rant) again, us having been approached by him to go see his show a number of weeks back. And sure enough, on our way back to the office, there is that dipshit hypnotist on the street corner trying to get people to come to his show.
So as you can see, I clearly have psychic powers, probably even greater ones than all these "clairvoyant" and "psychic" frauds and liars. Sure I can't control them, and am purely at their whim of when they decide to manifest themselves, but still, I am a psychic.
So be sure to come back soon, and be ready with those hundred dollar bills so you can pay me to tell you your future, your past life, lift your curse, jinx your enemies - whatever you want. You want it, I can do it.
(cross-posted at A Western Heart)
Seriously though - the psychic hotline thing is a great idea....
© by Tiberius Alatheus 2005