Ho Fucking Hum... The Top 10 Most Overhyped Non-Stories of 2005
Another crappy year is almost gone. Over the next couple of weeks, the so-called "mainstream" media is going to jizz all over themselves telling us what they think the Top Ten Stories of 2005 were. Since it's all bullshit anyway, I've decided to trump them once again and list the Top Ten Most Overhyped Non-Stories of the year. Here they are:
10) Rosa Parks - Sure, she was a civil rights icon, but let's be honest. She didn't really DO anything other than getting arrested for not bowing down to whitey on the bus. It was a noble action, of course, but most homies today have no clue who this woman was or what she did. The modern homey is still mired in his own self-created world of poverty, drugs, thuggery, and bastardism. Today's homey would have likely raped and murdered Ms. Parks for not giving her bus seat to THEM, so what has really been accomplished? Nothing.
9) Brad Shitt and Angelina Uglie - I realize I'm in the small minority of men who don't like Angelina Jolie, but I don't care. She's terribly overhyped and unattractive. Those lips are disgusting, and if you've ever wondered what a true self-centered Fuglo twat looks like, just Google Jenny Shimizu (Angelina's dyke lover) sometime. Besides, leftist douchebags like Shitt and Uglie are just a part of the infotainment culture designed to lull us all to sleep like good liberals, oblivious to all of the atrocities going on in the world in the name of Islam. As far as beauty goes, I see better looking women at the bank or the grocery store on a daily basis. Get over it.
8) Victims? What Victims? - December's execution of leading gang banger Stanley "Poopie" Williams was long overdue. Of course, the media wanted you to believe that he was a reformed man. What they didn't tell you was that he continued to live in denial about the four people he murdered. Right after the murders, however, he bragged to some of his homies about it, referring to the Chinese people he gunned down as "Buddha Heads." What's worse is that when asked (while he was protesting against the death penalty), the so-called Reverend Jesse Jackson could not name a single one of Tookie's victims. This isn't surprising. After all, stirring up trouble is just another day at the office for a race pimp like Jackson. It's not his job to know about victims; it's his job to see to it that everything boils down to race (except for the Buddha heads, of course).
7) Wacko Jacko - The only thing worse than an alleged pedophile is a parent who lets her son spend weekends with the alleged pedophile (in the hopes that her son will be molested and she will be able to cash in on the ordeal). Michael Jackson has now moved to Bahrain (where I'm sure he can pretty much do whatever he wants, up to and including having sex with under-aged goats).
6) Big Brothah - The New York Times has once again put our nation in jeopardy, this time by revealing top secret information about the federal government's recording of incoming calls from known terrorists to their supporters in the U.S. What puzzles me is the fact that the government would need to go through so much trouble to find the enemy in the first place. You certainly don't need secret wire taps. All you need to do is listen to the Democrats and the leftist shitbags in the so-called "peace" movement. They make no bones about wanting America to lose the war on terrorism and they actively encourage it out in the open. The government needs to ship these traitors off to internment camps and leave the rest of us alone.
5) Hurricane Katrina - Enough already. Nobody cares about New Orleans. It's a shitty town. It's always been a shitty town. Any city that prides itself on throwing annual drunken parties where people get fucked up and slutty women show complete strangers their tits in exchange for plastic beads that you can get at the Dollar Store is pretty much useless as far as the rest of the world is concerned. Let it go.
4) Ride of the Rump Rangers - Not since The Phantom Menace has a movie been so over-hyped. I'm talking, of course, about Brokeback Mountain. For the record, I have no interest in a movie about two homo cowboys who run off into the woods every day to sodomize each other behind their wives' backs. That doesn't make me a "homophobe," it makes me a consumer who isn't easily impressed. Which is also why I'm not going to see King Kong. You've got to be kidding me. If the previews are any indication, the special effects in the new King Kong movie aren't much better than the claymation used in the 1930's version. Finally, why the fuck do American directors continue to insist on using non-Japanese actors in Japanese roles? I appreciate the fact that Memoirs of a Geisha tries to set the record straight (that geishas aren't whores, they're highly talented and disciplined entertainers), but when the three lead roles are all played by Chinks, there's no way in hell I'm going to pay to see it.
3) Aruba Slut - Some 18-year-old slutburger goes to Aruba, gets drunk, has sex with at least five different guys (all on the same night), then winds up dead. Who the fuck cares? I don't. That's who.
2) Terry Schiavo - The biggest lesson learned from the death of Terrie Schiavo is that you should always have a living will. The second most important lesson is that you should always trim your nose hairs, because you might end up in a vegetative state with news cameras constantly broadcasting an up-the-nose shot of you lying in a hospital bed. It's not flattering, to say the least, and it got old really quick.
1) Mother Moonbat - This year's hands-down winner for "Biggest Non-Story" was Cindy Sheehan. Never has it been more clear that the so-called "mainstream" media is filled with leftist shitbags who want America to lose the war on terrorism and will do whatever they can to see that it happens. By deliberately propping up this moron, the press showed their true colors. For two months straight, not a day went by without a story involving Sheehan in one way or another. Of course, the press bent over backwards to deliberately omit Ms. Sheehan's anti-American and anti-Jewish statements, especially when she called the terrorists in Iraq "Freedom Fighters." Exactly what freedoms are they fighting for? I guess we'll never know, since the media wouldn't dare ask Mother Moonbat a difficult question or reveal her to be the traitor she is. The media also deliberately omitted the fact that Sheehan had ALREADY met with President Bush (after which, she admitted he was sincere and genuine). The silver lining was that despite the media's best efforts, nobody bought Sheehan's retarded book. Boo fucking hoo.
Everyone agrees that the best story of the year would be one about lots of leftists being killed in many horrible ways.......
© by Michael Cooper 2005