Ann Coulter, will you marry me?
Sure we haven’t met and it really can’t be said that we truly “know” each other (or even falsely know each other, or know each other – period.) but I have no doubt we are meant to be together.
Many say they dislike the left, that they can’t stand them, some say that they despise them. Many say that but fail to live it. A true hatred of the left, a true understanding of what they stand for and what they are trying to achieve is a very rare thing.
You, my dearest Ann, most certainly have this understanding. You understand the left and its vile objectives and unlike most other wusses, you are not afraid to hate the left for what it is. And I find that to be a huge attraction.
We get all sorts of cry babies telling us how it is no good to hate but I call 'bullshit' on that. That is the kind of thing leftist scum (or at least leftist sympathisers) would say. With something as evil and despicable and treacherous as the left, it is not only good and right to hate it, it is essential that we do so, that we might attack it and destroy it with all the prejudice it deserves.
The way you despise the left so much is so very rare. I can only think of one other person who shares your level of hatred for them, namely, me.
That your mind can understand the left as it truly is, that it recognises the treachery of the left is very appealing to me. To hell with what others say, a strong mind in a woman is the most attractive thing of all.
Just think of what we could
accomplish together. Each of us solely focused on helping the other torment the
left.
Of course it's not like an intelligent woman such as you needs my help, but
still, anything that can help take the fight to the left.
Your entire back catalogue of writing is full of reasons to love you. And it
seems that with each passing day, I grow more in love with you. How can I not
love a woman
whose mind can unleash venom at leftists such as
this:
Last October, two liberals responded to my speech at the University of Arizona — during question and answer, no less — by charging the stage and throwing two pies at me from a few yards away. Fortunately for me, liberals not only argue like liberals, they also throw like girls...
...Unfortunately for them, Republican men don't react favourably to two "Deliverance" boys trying to sucker-punch a 110-pound female in a skirt and heels. The geniuses ended up with bloody noses and broken bones....
...College liberals still couldn't formulate a coherent argument, but they seemed to want to avoid ending up in jail having to explain to their cellmates that they were in for trying to hit a girl (and missing)...
...But these Rhodes scholar geniuses with a taste for "fact-driven debate" can't even achieve the level of argument practiced by the average juvenile delinquent. They're still stuck at the intellectual level of 2-year-olds in high chairs throwing food...
Oh my. You are beautiful when lashing out at leftist cowards. But that is just the beginning.
It's no excuse that the Democrats are lying. They do that all the time.
and
The reason liberals refuse to elaborate on "extremist right-wing ideologue" is that they need liberal courts to give them gay marriage, a godless Pledge of Allegiance, abortion on demand, nude dancing, rights for pederasts, and everything else they could never win in America if it were put to a vote.
Every shot you take
sends shivers of pleasure up and down spine. Your mercilessness makes my heart
skip a beat.
And speaking of
mercilessness....
By a vote of 403-3, the House of Representatives wasn't willing to bet that "the American people" want to pull out of Iraq. (This vote also marked the first time in recent history that the Democrats did not respond to getting their butts kicked by demanding a recount.)
and
They fill the airwaves with treason, but when called to vote on withdrawing troops, disavow their own public statements. These people are not only traitors, they are gutless traitors.
Oh Ann. The only thing more wonderful than your acid tongue is the mind that lurks behinds it. And the utter contempt is has for the left. I am in love-struck awe.
and
and
But it is not just your hatred for leftists. It is also your courage. You will take on the muslim scourge while others cower in fear.
In order to express their displeasure with the idea that Muslims are violent, thousands of Muslims around the world engaged in rioting, arson, mob savagery, flag-burning, murder and mayhem, among other peaceful acts of nonviolence.
Muslims are the only people who make feminists seem laid-back...
...Back when Muslims created things, rather than blowing them up, they made paintings, frescoes, miniatures and prints of Muhammad.
But apparently the Quran is like the Constitution: It's a "living document," capable of sprouting all-new provisions at will. Muslims ought to start claiming the Quran also prohibits indoor plumbing, to explain their lack of it....
...But Muslims think they can issue decrees about what images can appear in newspaper cartoons. Who do they think they are, liberals?
And most recently:
Or, as I believe our motto should be after 9/11: Jihad monkey talks tough; jihad monkey takes the consequences. Sorry, I realize that's offensive. How about "camel jockey"? What? Now what'd I say? Boy, you tent merchants sure are touchy. Grow up, would you?
and
Or is NATO — like the conventions of civilized behavior, personal hygiene and grooming — inapplicable when Muslims are involved?
Words can no longer properly express
how I feel. With each article, your savaging of worthless leftists and their
terrorist allies becomes more and more vicious - and I love it!
Such a beautiful and intelligent woman, if there is any woman worthy of the
title of Right Wing Death Beast then surely that is you. What other possible
purpose could I have for being here but to assist, serve, protect, and indeed
worship you in your divine quest to destroy leftist scum? Again, it is not as if
you need my assistance, service, protection and worship but hey, those are
pretty awesome things to have.
And can you honestly say you haven’t had the thought “Hmmm. I would really love to have a hot, young, fellow Right Wing Death Beast to entertain me, protect me, and to share my torturing of leftists with?”
I know I have. Well, I have thought the reverse anyway, about how much I would really love a hot, mature, fellow Right Wing Death Beast to entertain, protect, and to share in leftist torturing activities.
And then there are our children...
Just think of the fear they will inspire in leftist traitors. "The Devil-spawn
of two Right Wing Death Beasts? Surely this spells our doom!" will be their cry
of terror.
Our sons will be as ruggedly handsome and as stalwart defenders of Western
Civilization as their father. Our daughters, as beautiful, as intelligent, and
as merciless towards leftists as their mother. All of them completely
dedicated towards the defence of Western Civilization and the destruction of the
left, like their parents.
Oh yes. Our children will indeed be the doom of leftists.
We are two of a kind, Ann. As hard as others may try, and as noble as their intentions may be, they cannot properly appreciate us or our distaste for leftists. That is something unique that we share. Let us celebrate it and join together, to the destruction of the left.
Yours with love, honour, and respect
- Tiberius
Everyone agrees that our kids will strike fear into the hearts of leftist scum
© by Tiberius Alatheus 2006