The joke's on you
Never underestimate the ability of an Australian TV hack to fuck up a good idea.
One of the worst examples was when Channel 9 decided that instead of showing us Entertainment Tonight direct from the US, as they had done previously for a great many years, they would give us an 'Australian' version of it.
Gone were the competent US hosts and in their place we got Richard Wilkins and some young airhead, and instead of stories about real celebrities and real entertainment news, we got a host of stories about Australian has-beens and never-were’s-and-never-will-be’s
Now Channel 10 has gotten in on the act with Joker Poker.
I enjoyed being half smashed and turning on the TV sometime between 11:00pm and 1:30am on a Saturday night to sit down and watch the World Poker Tour. We got to see the best players in the world playing the best type of poker in the world (No Limit Texas Hold ‘em for the deprived) for real prizes.
So naturally some dickhead TV hack down at Channel 10 decided this would be an ideal candidate to 'Australianize' and royally fuck up.
“Hey I know. Let’s get former yoof radio JJJ host Adam Spencer to host the show featuring a bunch of comedians together playing for charity. That will be way cooler than watching the best players in the world play.”
And so this travesty was born.
They had four “comedians” on the show the other night and what a bunch of dipshits they were.
First you had some guy – 'Pommy' someone his name was. He was a dipshit.
Then there was this Nigel guy – he was a homo dipshit.
Then there was this fat slag who used to be a receptionist at a brothel – probably because nobody would pay to fuck her and she owed the madam a lot of money. She was a dipshit, oh and her name was Meshel. I must tell Cooper there is another Grade-A white trash name to add to his list.
The least dipshit of them all was that bald goomba Bruno Lucia. Ya know – the guy from that show – the one with the lanky Lurch looking dude who was in a samurai stage play, and the blonde chick, and that weedy nerd guy who now does the weather. What was the name of that show?
Exactly....
These were the four “famous” "comedians" featured. Now granted they were not professional poker players and this was for charity so I wasn’t expecting the usual high standard of play. However, given that these were “comedians” (or so we were told) you might assume that we would be getting a few laughs as sort of a trade off.
Ha! Not only did we get shit poker, but we got four dipshits talking nothing but shit. And totally unfunny shit at that.
The homo dipshit did nothing but make comments (I think they were supposed to be jokes but with the complete lack humour contained in them I can’t be sure) about how he is a homo.
That Pommy dipshit did nothing but make hints that he might also be a homo.
The fat slag dipshit made stupid comments to show how fucking stupid she is. At least once per hand came the follow exchange:
Dealer: You can call or fold.
Fat Slag: Can I check? How much to check?
Dealer: You can’t check. You can either call or fold.
I don’t remember baldy saying anything as I believe he was the only one actually trying to play the game and win some money for charity, as opposed to using this time to show everyone how “funny” he was. Thus again proving himself to have the least dipshitiness of all of them.
And the fucking worst thing? It was only the first in a series of episodes.
Let's hope this shit gets cancelled so we can get back to the real poker games
© by Tiberius Alatheus 2005