Here ya go, ingrates.
Yeah I know, but both Cooper and I actually have lives in reality-space and unfortunately those must take precedent over cyberspace. But to tide you all over until the next proper update, let’s go through a few recent things:
Regarding all the chiefs of all these spear chucking pacific nations crying about Australian arrogance, listen to me you primitive simps. If you were not such backwards savages, we wouldn’t need to come in and solve your problems. Here’s a start – it’s time to scrap whichever tribal custom says that having sex with children is acceptable and therefore stop acting like Motti shouldn’t be punished. It is also time to realise that while corruption might have been all good and proper back when your economy consisted of grass skirts and coconuts and your only contact with the outsiders was when you cooked them, in a global economy, it is not good government.
And accept that when you are a risk to our security and are accepting our aid money, your place is to just shut your holes and let us get on with the business of stopping your nation collapsing. Don’t want to shut your holes? Fine, but then stop being a risk and stop accepting our aid.
Now regarding the Australian Democrats:
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
The end of the Democrats? The end of a bunch of gutless, cowardly leftwing traitors who wouldn’t know how the real world worked if it raped them up the arse without lubricant? Oh no, whatever will we do?
Well when looking at gutless, cowardly leftwing traitors, you have the Democrats, Labor and the Greens, so it was obvious that there were not enough gutless, cowardly leftwing traitors in this country to support three such parties.
The Democrats have nobody to blame but themselves. They had a chance to be the balance of power. They could have “Kept the bastards honest” had they wanted to. But no. Instead they chose to turn into the party into nothing more than another group gutless, cowardly leftwing traitors and now fingers are crossed they will pay the price and finish burying themselves at the next election.
Nicole Kidman is an idiot. It pains me to say it, but she is. What’s his face is in rehab? Gee, who would have thought that would happen? Only everybody I ever spoke to. Funny how we could all see what a worthless dropkick he was but apparently she couldn’t. First a closet homo, now a worthless druggie. Good work there, Nicole. Maybe next time you could marry a muslim and make it a trifecta of dickheads.
Which brings me to another thing. The never ending stream of people crying on tv about a dead relative who overdosed on after being given cocaine/heroin/ecstasy/ice et al by a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/significant other/cousin/friend etc to “try”.
Sorry for your loss and all that shit but your relatives were fucking morons. When a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/significant other/cousin/friend offers you drugs, that is where you realise what a worthless piece of shit they are and that its time to end it and treat them like the diseased rat they are.
My preferred method when offered something by a so called “boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/significant other/cousin/friend” is to deliver a sharp backhand blow to the nose.
The benefit of a backhand blow is its downward direction which will break their nose but will not run the risk of pushing the cartilage into their brain, killing them. (Of course if the government would grow some balls and pass a law so it is ok to kill druggies, society would be much better off). This will stun them and screw up their vision as their eyes water like you wouldn’t believe. (Well you would believe if you have ever taken a sharp blow to the shnozz)
Then grab them by their hair or neck, drag them to the front door and ram them face first into it. Then open the door and make it look like you are going to shove them out, but at the last moment, turn them and ram them into the door frame. Then I like to stick their head in the doorway and shut the door on it a couple of times, ram them into the doorway one last time and throw them out the door.
While they are on the ground you tell them that if they breathe one word to the
police about this, not only will you hand over all the paraphernalia they
dropped inside your house when you broke their nose, but you will tell all their
family, friends, employers about their habit and do everything in your power to
further fuck up their lives.
That will solve all your problems right there.
And then a reader sent me this email link
Retirement is a killer. People who have worked like dogs their whole lives are finally free of all that stress. First off, they might get out in the garden, do a bit of travel, work on their golf/tennis, but soon they find they have more time than they know what to do with. They are lost having so little to do, get bored and that is when they start falling apart. It is a big a change for them.
But of course public servants are used to doing nothing so whether it is doing nothing at work or nothing at home, it is not big change for them so of course they are going to handle the…well… not the change better, because there is no change. They handle the whole doing nothing better since that is what they have done for most of their careers.
And before you left wing, public service cockheads write in, yes, I have worked in the public service and it was just as farcical as I make out. Of course when you refuse to reward hard work (in case you upset those who don’t want to work hard) with promotions and pay increases, those who do work hard will go elsewhere where they will be recognised and rewarded for their hard work, so all you are left with are the lazy slackers who are happy shuffling papers around their desk until home time.
And finally, to the Yanks and their banning Vegemite. All I can really do is shake my head and say “You fucking soft cocks”
There you go. Now quit bitching about the lack of updates....
© by Tiberius Alatheus 2006