The Final Word on Illegals
I'm sure you're all as sick of the whole illegal immigrant debacle as I am, but I have to give my final analysis without poking fun of Hector. As most of the so-called "serious" debate in the media surrounding this issue has been blatantly dishonest (or flat-out retarded), I feel it is now my job to set the record straight without taking any potshots at these people (and believe me, it won't be easy). Here are the most common beliefs held about the illegal community (and what the TRUTH is, as well as the solution - after all, I did once run for president!).
1) They're "doing the work Americans won't do"
Like it or not, this is true. Yes, there are scumbags in the Esse-Vato community, but for the most part, Mexicans work their asses off (and they do a damn good job). I know people like to joke about how they fuck up your order at McDonald's, but I've never had that experience. And let's face it, the voluntary poor in America won't do things like janitorial work, raking leaves, cleaning hotel rooms, or whatever. And a little-known fact is that there are many illegal aliens (mostly from Mexico) who do some serious backbreaking (and even dangerous) work such as fighting forest fires. I can understand people's anger that the government actually hires illegals to put out fires, but what can you do? When I was a teenager, my mother actually made us pick strawberries to earn money during the summer. It sucked, but it taught me the value of hard work. Most American teenagers today are spoiled little pussies who would probably break down in tears if they had to actually touch dirt (and those are just the boys).
2) They're "law-abiding, family oriented"
This is also (generally) true. The majority of illegal immigrants are family-oriented Catholics. I've joked about how annoying it is that so many of them fill the public parks by throwing birthday parties for their kids, but what's so wrong with that? And what do you expect them to do, rent out the Four Seasons? Of course, the fact that they have so many kids is a problem (we'll get into that later). And although the majority of them are law-abiding citizens (excluding breaking our immigration laws, that is) there's still a good percentage who commit crimes. I swear to God, not a day goes by where I turn on the evening news and a Mexican ISN'T involved in a crime. In California alone, nearly 50% of the prison population is illegal aliens from Mexico (and they aren't there for spitting on the sidewalk or playing their retarded music that has accordions in it). This is a problem.
3) They serve in the military
I've heard more than a few people say this, but this is total bullshit. Yes, there are many Hispanics in the military, but those are mostly Puerto Ricans, not illegal aliens from Mexico. This has also caused problems for the military, such as the large number of Latino gangs that have made their way to Iraq.
4) They love America
No, they really don't, but they hide it well. I will say I'm impressed with their ability to put on a good show and wave American flags (even though in the first march, they were almost exclusively waving the flags of Methico). And although the American flag waving is just an act, what really strikes me is the fact that the assorted leftist American shitbags aren't able to do this. Have you ever seen a liberal waving an American flag at their anti-war rallies or at least pretending to love this country? No you haven't. Nobody has, because most leftists are traitors. The only time a leftist waves an American flag is to set fire to it. However, I have to ask the all-important question. Where were these flag-waving Mexican douchebags after 9/11? Over the past few weeks, hundreds of thousands of Esses and their families were out there pretending to actually care about America. You would think that at least a third of them would have shown some sort of solidarity with America after 9/11, but that never happened. In fact, just a few months after 9/11, many Mexican soccer fans were heard chanting "Osama Osama!" at a soccer game against the Americans (and a poll of Mexicans showed that nearly a third of them thought we 'deserved 9/11'). Fucking assholes.
5) They add to the economy and the tax base
This is completely false. In fact, they actually depress wages in semi-skilled industries such as meat cutting, they use roughly $2300 more tax money per person than they pay in taxes, and ultimately, they only pay a fraction of the taxes the rest of us do. Most illegal aliens are either paid under the table (in cash) or they use fraudulent Social Security numbers when they apply for jobs. Then they claim the maximum number of deductions allowed and pay very little in tax. And they sure as hell don't go down to H&R Block on Tax Day and make up the difference.
6) We can't "track them all down" and "ship them back"
This is another canard used by Bush lapdogs like Tony Snow. And although it is technically true, the dirty little secret is that we don't HAVE TO track them all down and ship them back. Congressman Steve King from Iowa has come up with the perfect solution: require employers to match the names of employees with their Social Security numbers. Every year, the government allows business to deduct the wages of employees on their payroll. This saves them roughly $6000 per employee (legal and illegal). As mentioned above, most illegals use phony Social Security numbers. If the government didn't allow companies to deduct wages paid to employees whose names don't match their Social Security numbers in the database, the problem would solve itself. Without the deduction, there would be very little incentive for employers to hire illegal aliens (and every incentive NOT to). If companies didn't hire illegals, the Mexicanos would have no choice but to go the fuck home (and try to come back through legal channels). So the next time you hear the "you can't round them all up" bullshit line, be sure to put whoever said it in his place.
So even though I might have sympathy for some of the illegal aliens and their families, they have no business being here.
The solution?
1) Build a fucking wall (using Mexican labor if necessary)
2) Remove the deduction of wages for employees whose SSNs don't match their names
3) Create a guest worker program (but only after #1 and #2 are done)
Would some businesses suffer in the short term? Absolutely. But who really gives a shit? This is our fucking country we're talking about.
Ariba!
Or better still, arrange for an exchange program. For every illegal that enters, get rid off three leftist fuckhead traitors......
© by Michael Cooper 2006