Homey Swap
A couple of years ago,
I made fun of the impending debut of (what I thought would be) one of the worst
and most depraved shows ever to air on American television, Wife Swap. In
reality, Wife Swap (along with the Fox rip-off version, Trading Spouses) turned
out to be an extremely entertaining program. The producers of both shows were
masters at finding two extreme opposites and swapping them into each other’s
families. In one episode, a swamp woman from the Louisiana Bayou was switched
with a self-centered, shallow, ball-busting commie West Coast buzzcut vegan
bitch from
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to ABC for making fun of Wife Swap before it even got on the air. I was wrong, and I freely admit it. To make amends, I would like to propose a new television show called Homey Swap.
The concept for Homey Swap is simple: Take a well-known homey who makes a living promoting and excusing criminal and irresponsible behavior in the black community, and swap him with a hardcore homey on death row. Not only would it be a huge ratings success, it would be an appropriate form of justice for the so-called “leaders” of the racist black power movement who have made a fortune promoting the type of behavior that leads to such misery in the black community (bastardism, drugs, rape, theft, Ebonics, and wearing "do-rags").
The pilot episode would feature rapper Calvin Broadus (better known by his retarded, childish, rap pseudonym, Snoop Dogg) trading places with death row inmate and Crips founder Stanley Tookie Williams. This trade is ideal, in that Williams (who killed four people during two robberies back in the 1970’s) seems to be genuinely remorseful and has written several books for children, teaching them about the mistakes he made in his life. Contrast that with Dogg, who makes a fortune promoting gang violence, drugs, prostitution, and the copyright infringement of characters created by Charles M. Schultz. At the end of the pilot, Williams goes home a free man and Snoopy gets the chair. Seems fair enough to me. After all, Corn Dogg is currently appealing to California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to spare Williams’ life. I think Dogg Shit should step up to the plate and volunteer to go in Williams’ place. It would be a quick end, since gold is such a great conductor of electricity, and the amount of bling and gold teef that Calvin has in and around his head would fry him quicker than a plate of extra crispy KFC (with a side of 'slaw).
And once again, isn’t it ironic that homey apologists are telling us that Williams’ work since his incarceration has helped keep young black kids out of gangs and at the same time saying that violent rap lyrics and videos don’t contribute to violent behavior? As is the case with liberals, consistency doesn’t seem to be one of homey’s strongest suits.
Nevertheless, I would like to pitch this idea to ABC or any other network with the balls to step up to the plate. The bidding starts at $1 million (and some gin and juice).
Peace!
Holy shit that sounds like a great show! Homey Swap is one "reality" show that I would watch - especially the season finale execution special....
© by Michael Cooper 2005