Good News/Bad News
We at the Asylum are very pleased to announce some wonderful news. This weekend, six people were gunned down at a rave after-party in the People's Republic of Seattle. Isn't that wonderful? Apparently, these overgrown children had left the original rave (having run out of both X and pacifiers) and went to a friend's house to follow up with dancing, drugging, painting their faces, fagging out, eating cereal, and all of the other things most 22-year-old Seattle dorks with Peter Pan Syndrome do every weekend of their worthless lives. Fortunately, one of the party goers left and came back with a shotgun and a rifle. He proceeded to pick off the partygoers one-by-one. Unfortunately, the cops showed up, preventing the shooter from finishing off the other 20 partygoers. The gunman (gun BOY, I should say) then decided to save us all the time and effort and take his own life. And although Tiberius would have been happier if this had happened at a GOTH party, I'm sure he's as thrilled at this wonderful news as the rest of society is.
UPDATE: One of the guys killed at the zombie-themed rave party in Seattle was 26 years old! This douchebag was partying with people in their teens and early 20's. What a loser.
On a sad note, we have some truly tragic news to report:
The three remaining hostages from the Christian Peacemaker Teams were freed by coalition forces in Iraq last week. This tragedy is a slap in the face to all of the team members, who had made it clear from the start that they are allied with the Islamists, and would have rather died than be rescued by US and Iraqi forces. Our condolences go out to their families and loved ones. At this point, we can only pray that they return to the danger zone and are killed in the most unspeakable ways imaginable by the throat-cutters. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate all goths. Those hot, filthy, slutty females with the dog collars I find particularly enticing, especially when I grab their long hair, and pull their heads back, exposing their necks, biting down just hard enough to tip them over the edge..... but I digress. Ahem! Sooooo.... what a shame that at that rave it wasn't a bunch of pig fucking muslims that got gunned down instead of them doing the gunning down for a change....
© by Michael Cooper 2006