More Bathroom Etiquette
My previous article on bathroom etiquette was a hit. Unfortunately there are still some fuckwits out there who just don't get it.
Reader Dave has sent in some more tip for you leftist fuckweasel perverts.
1. Talking while at the urinal - If you want to talk while washing your hands
great, but only if both parties are either finished or haven't started their
business. And for God's sake - IF YOU INSIST ON TALKING -
JUST LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD!
2. Being a "sit-down pee'er" (yes I'm aware that some may need to do this
because of medical or physical reasons - this is not the case with these guys)
Let's forget that this is a little strange - it takes up valuable space for
those who legitimately need the throne after a night boozing and BBQ.
3. Making eye contact with someone who has just finished up in the stall. - If
you come into a stall and notice that there is someone beside you, the etiquette
is to wait for them to finish, wash and leave before you begin
the process yourself. This will ensure that you will NOT have to have a
conversation with someone who was crapping less than 2 feet away from you.
4. Talking on a cell phone while you're in the stall - c'mon, that's just
ridicules!
I have a couple peeves at my work.
1. There are 3 urinals. The middle one should never ever be used. Why do people
insist on using the middle one where I have to piss right next to you. We should
always use the one on the right or left.
2. Wash your hands after you take care of business. With soap, not just the 1/2
second "turn the water on and walk out" routine. What is that?
3. Don't drop your pants into my stall space.
4. Don't talk to me when I am taking the Browns to the Superbowl!
And as if that wasn't enough, another reader (whose identity I shall protect) has sent the following report.
I just found your article on bathroom etiquette and thought it was great. I work in a professional office and never though bathroom etiquette would be a problem. The building has a common restroom for all of the offices. One office has over 70 "computer type" guys. It gets stranger every day. Here are a few items I have seen:
- Don't eat food while at the urinal, apples & oranges, etc., yuk!
- Don't talk on the cell phone anywhere in the restroom, especially while on the toilet!
- Don't play video games on your cell phone with the volume turned up. If you have time to play a
game, you're taking too long.
- Don't lean on the wall and have a conversation with a guy on the toilet.
- This is a professional office, not a stadium. Do not toss toilet paper on the floor (un-used and used)
- Paper towels go in the trash can, not the floor.
- Once again, no food in restroom. Leave you lunch at your desk!
- Don't take your shoes off while on the toilet. Always wear shoes in the restroom.
- Is it acceptable to shave and brush your teeth 2 feet from a urinal that is being used? I wouldn't.
- Do not spit on floors or walls.
I really see many of these items on a daily basis, especially food and cell phones!
Food in a toilet? GROSS! That is so fucking disgusting it is almost beyond words. By the way, the reason I am protecting his identity is because he names the company the offenders work for. And I am only passing it on in case any of you out there ever have a meeting, or a date, or any sort of interaction with someone from the company, you know not to shake their hands or accept a lunch offer.
And so who are these most disgusting off offenders?
"They are the employees of "True Credit"
Remember: Don't shake hands with anyone from True Credit - just in case.......
Anyone who takes food into a toilet should have their hands sawn off with a blunt knife so they can't do something so disgusting ever again.......
© by Tiberius Alatheus 2005