How to further fuck up your election chances
Picture this...
You are the new leader of an opposition party. You have an election sometime this year. The government has brought down a very sweet election budget. You continue to slip in the polls after clawing ahead (but given you are a left wing retard you don’t realise these polls that ask 500 people in a notoriously left (or right) demographic aren’t worth dick in the wider electorate.) You are very sketchy on policy detail (though you have had the sense to avoid the “Not what the government is doing” platform your predecessor ran on at the last election, so far) and you are getting slammed at home and by foreign leaders internationally because of your cowardly and gutless stance of withdrawing our troops from Iraq regardless of whether they are needed or not or if the job is finished.
A typically “safe” seat of yours will be open as the incumbent retires at the next election. What do you do?
Well if you are Australian Labor Party leader Mark Latham you appoint a moronic, eco-nazi, know-nothing environmentalist former rock star.
Ah yes – Peter Garret – former front man of former rock band Midnight Oil. Fanatical “Environment first before anything including jobs, growth, sanitation, people’s livelihoods, people’s lives – well…civilization in general” protestor and campaigner for Abo Rights and Reconciliation (recrimination by getting today’s government to say sorry for the British Empire’s decision to ship convicts out here, thereby admitting legal liability and opening the way for thousands of law suits to further bilk the public because the billions upon billions of dollars already stolen from the public by ATSIC were not enough)
But the people in that electorate must not be total lost causes (after all – it is a safe Labor seat so their intelligence must at least be questioned) as they have kicked up quite a storm over this and have vowed all sorts of things should Garret get their seat in parliament.
For some reason, even these dim witted lefties don’t want a fucked-in-the-head former rock star turned eco-nazi representing them in federal parliament, knowing that not one job or development or community servicing building (eg schools, sports centres etc) will be built in their region if he is elected to federal parliament. Hell not even a footpath will be built as he will prevent anything happening that might disrupt one ants nest or one Slater beetle or one blade of grass. Now why could that be?
I just don’t get how Latham can be so stupid (apart from the fact he is leftist) as he has had a couple of "good" policies. The plan to scrap ATSIC was his idea. The government got in and trumped it before the election taking away a strong potential weapon from him. I commented here about his common sense approach to the Gay School uproar.
So how can someone who seems to have some common sense at least still do things that are clearly so totally fucking stupid and lacking in common sense due to blind fanaticism to his leftist ideology like his stance on Iraq?
All he has to do is come out and say "I was wrong. The troops will stay in Iraq as long as they are required" and the government has lost what is probably its biggest weapon to use against him at the next election. But apparently he can't see that, just as he can't see that this appointing a dumb as shit enviro-nazi former rock star as some pathetic attempt to appeal to young voters is a bad idea.
I mean – look at these photos.
One is an inbred, left wing, dumbfuck former rock star, eco terrorist menace to society, the other is a character from Wes Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes.
Which one is which?
And who would want either one of them representing them in federal parliament?
I would love for Peanut Garrett to come out here and give some know-nothing speech on some topic he knows nothing about (which is everything). I would run up behind him and smash a guitar over his head and yell “There you go. A nice big dose of Shut the Fuck Up!’ That would be so cool.
© by Tiberius Alatheus 2004