The Shittiest Culture Awards
This week I was made aware of a series of worldwide opinion polls which showed that most of the world "no longer considers" the United States as the great beacon of hope, and instead sees it as an arrogant nation of bullies. Well boo fucking hoo. As I've pointed out so many times before, this is nothing new. The weak, the stupid, and the poor will always think negatively about those of us who are successful and actually have something to be proud of. Go into any slum, brothel, or day labor camp and ask the dregs of society what they think about the rich (or even the middle class). I guarantee that none of them would respond with "I really respect them, and I aspire to do what they did in order to better my lot in life." Life's losers will always hate the winners, going so far as to blame them for their own problems. And I know that it seems knee-jerk to criticize people as "jealous" at the drop of a hat, but in this case I know I'm right.
But an even more interesting survey showed that Americans (as arrogant as we are) are not the most self-centered, conceited people on the planet. So who is? France? Japan? Italy? Actually, when asked which culture was the greatest in the world, the country with the highest "ours is" response came from Indonesia. WTF? Indonesia? You gotta be shitting me.... I can understand South Koreans (who came in second) giving their culture high marks. After all, they have some of the most beautiful women in the world, their food is great, they have a strong sense of family and a love of learning, they are hard working, and their movies and television shows are now immensely popular throughout all of Asia. Yes, many Koreans have the social development of a 3-year-old, some eat dogs, and before we found out how ungrateful Iraqis are, South Koreans were known as the most childishly ungrateful bastards on the planet (remember that little war we helped them out with combined with the American troops that have kept that country free?). But nobody's perfect. All countries have their weaknesses. Hell, with America's obsessive celebrity worship and nauseating in-your-face pop culture, I could certainly not honestly say America's culture is above criticism (although we are superior to most).
Let's get back to Indonesia. Of all the countries in the world, Indonesia should be near the bottom of the list when being proud of their "culture." In fact, if you were to give them an automatic score of 100, then deduct for negative attributes, Indonesia would come out in double or triple digit negative numbers. Here's a short list: They're Muslim (subtract 20 points). They fuck chickens (subtract 30 points). They have cock fights and live with their diseased and dying birds, which is why they're the only country so far where an entire family died of Avian Flu (subtract 40 points). They're filthy and live in shit (subtract 200). You get the idea.
But having experienced the full "cultures" of several other of our brethren these past couple of weeks, I think it is only fair that I hand out my own set of awards:
The Cheap Bastard Award goes to: Chinese.
It's no secret that a Chinaman would fuck his own brother for a dollar. He's probably even do it for a Canadian dollar. That's no excuse for the 2 Chinese families in my neighborhood not only not buying any fireworks this Fourth of July, but also having the audacity to let their little brats come over (unsupervised), watch OUR fireworks, and riffle through my stuff (including getting some sparklers and not even saying "thanks"). I finally had to tell them to fuck off. It's important to note that one of the families is from Taiwan, and the other is from Mainland China (yet they are indistinguishable to me). Mind you, these are the same two families that never give out Halloween candy (although they are more than happy to send their kids out trick or treating every year).
The Sink or Swim Award goes to: Mexicans.
Old Joke: Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A: Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, or swim are already in America!
NEW Joke: Q: Why doesn't Mexico have a swim team? A: Because they can't go in the water without being completely shitfaced drunk.
Over these past two weeks, 10 people have died at rivers and lakes in my state. 80% of them were illegal aliens from Mexico. And 100% of those were in some sort of inebriated condition. One guy had consumed 8 or 9 beers before jumping in a river well known for having strong undercurrents. I'm sure the leftists are now going to be demanding signs in Spanish (because we all know that a sign with someone swimming inside a red circle with a large red line through it can mean different things to different people). Yeah, right... And with the increase in gang rapes and stabbings recently, Hector's culture is truly blooming in my part of the country. And in other parts, it's even worse. I read that a Mexican living in Detroit actually fucked his dog. Perhaps Mexico should start an exchange program with Indonesia. It sounds like they'd have a lot in common.
The Crash and Burn Breeder Award goes to: Russians (and most Eastern Euros in General).
Although they also get the OBO Award for Offensive Body Odor (and tie Hector in the drunk driving category), Eastern Europeans are well known for not caring a great deal about their children. How else do you explain how every time there's an accident where a child is killed because he or she wasn't wearing a seatbelt, the family is always from Eastern Europe? And it's usually a case where most of their children were killed. Usually one or two survive, but the other 37 aren't so lucky.
Blaming other people for your own misfortune is a cornerstone of the left, and is why they should be exterminated with extreme prejudice.
© by Michael Cooper 2006