The Brady Bunch 2006
Last weekend, there was a Brady Bunch marathon on TV. No, I didn't sit around watching all the episodes while getting drunk. I watched a COUPLE of episodes while getting drunk.
It is often the case that watching something as an adult that you saw as a child gives you a completely different appreciation of the film or TV show (as was the case with "The Phantom of the Paradise" which turned out to be one of my favorite movies of all time). And although the Brady Bunch is admittedly cheesy at best, one of the episodes I saw actually made me think about the world we live in today.
In the episode, Peter tried out for a school play. Instead of getting the part he auditioned for (George Washington) he was given the part of Benedict Arnold. Uneasy about playing the part of the most infamous traitor in American history, Peter pretends he has laryngitis which (temporarily) causes the play to be cancelled. His dad finally talks him out of quitting the play by explaining to him that by pretending to be sick has let a lot of people down. His point is that by refusing to portray Benedict Arnold, Peter is actually BEHAVING like Benedict Arnold, since he has stabbed his fellow actors (including his sister) in the back. And of course, in true Brady fashion, Peter goes ahead with the play, and all ends well.
And while the often mocked advice given out by Mike Brady was nothing more than a script, it made me think about the different types of parents we have today. What would such a scene look like in 2006? I can't imagine the outcome would be as good, given the types of loser parents I've seen recently. Here's what many of today's parents would have said in response to their son telling them he didn't want to be in the play:
Pussified Left-wing Dad: "Don’t you DARE let those Chickenhawk fascists at the school make you feel bad. Benedict Arnold was a HERO for doing what he did. Any idiot can just follow along blindly with the war, but it takes REAL COURAGE to stab your own country in the back in its time of need and give aid an comfort to the enemy. Remember: Protest is patriotic! Hey Hey! Ho Ho!"
Overprotective Soccer Mom: "Just do what you want, sweetie. Change your lines so that you end up looking like the HERO of the play. Or you can just stay home. The important thing is that you should never be made to feel bad or uncomfortable – ever! Now help me unhook my bra. It's time for lunch."
Muslim Dad: "It’s just like those dhimmis at the school to humiliate a proud Muslim boy. Don’t they know that playing a historical figure from the American Revolutionary War is expressly forbidden by the Quran? It is punishable by death. If you don’t blow up your school bus by Wednesday, I’m going to have to honor kill you. Now go get your mother. She's late for her hourly beating."
Illegal Alien Dad: (en Espanol): "It’s racist that they would even TEACH American History at your school. Where is the play about Caesar Chavez or Che Guevara? Viva la Raza!"
Narcissistic Trophy Wife: "Could you please stop whining to me about your little problems? I’m having to deal with the humiliation of being the only mom on the block with last year's Humvee model. Geez......"
Chinese Mom: "You must do your best or you won’t get into a good university. Go lock yourself in your room this instant and don’t come out until you have mastered the part of Benedict Arnold. Anything less will bring dishonor and a curse to the family."
White Trash Single Mom: "Arnold Who?"
It's funny because it's true.....
© by Michael Cooper 2006