I've got a question to ponder... Have you ever been in love, and does love even exist?
Do we confuse it with infatuation or lust? Or is it of something somewhere in between where it is
combined with loyalty, honesty and respect? How do we define it, never mind how the Oxford dictionary defines it.
And how do you know you are IN love as opposed to being IN LOVE WITH THE IDEA of being "in love"? We have all read
our fair share of trashy Mills&Boons novels when we were 15 where we have been indoctrinated with the notion that
happily ever after is the onset to a proposal of marriage. Well, sorry to have to break it to you, but marriage is
where the "... and after that" starts. The wedding is not the culmination of happily ever after, it is the grim
reality you have to face with after that which brings you back to earth with a resounding thud. You have to put
up with their habits and idiosyncrasies, and realise that waking up with mint-fresh breath is a fallacy and that
women aren't actually smooth as the day they were born).
Are we in an era that the notion of love is being rammed down our throats by our American counterparts that
we confuse what it is really like with the images we have been brainwashed by western imperialism at its worst?
Does love equate sex and does sex equate love? We all know that sex does not equate love, and love leads to a
feeling of intimacy, which if you want to go into it - is really sex. So what you are saying is that you _need_
(and may I stress that word which was enunciated by an ex) _need_ sex that even if you loved the person, you couldn't
stay with them forever as there is no physical intimacy? And may I ask if it is that same selfishness that prevents
a 20-something year old from committing to a disabled person as opposed to a 50-something year old, no matter how much
they loved them? Because that is "conditional" love, my friend. As another prat of an ex once said to me,
"So now that we have broken up, we will probably get back together in the future, right? Because, now that
we have broken up .. can we .. like, have sex with other people before we get back together again?" I think I
have made my point.
You have images of Janet Jackson's boobs being flashed on TV so many times in the last few weeks (early Feb 2004)
that the most boring question anyone can ask me is "Have you seen Janet Jackson's boobs?" I mean, why the sudden
outrage by the puritans of America? Isn't this the nation where they brought us Britney kissing Madonna? or Internet
AND mainstream porn? Why the sudden outrage over something that practically every person has seen at some point in
their life, no matter which way they are inclined. Spare us the sexual hypocrisy ... You shove your images down our
throats, and you turn around and get offended if you see even a hint of flesh. Oh sweet land of Liberty, let freedom
reign ....
So really, it's not love, it's sex... It all comes down to it. Sex sells and it cheapens the concept of love.
Never mind I don't know what love is - neither do you, I would imagine. I have been in love once in my life, and
it didn't work. Isn't that what life is about? As SJP found out in Sex in the City, you have two great loves in
your life. One you are madly passionate about, and the other one you settle with (sort of). I have had my mad,
passionate (more mad) love come my way, and let me tell you that I can hardly wait for Mr "Second Choice" to
come around .... gee... then my life will be complete!!!
My most recent ex wanted me to "prove him wrong" - that although he still loved me, he believed that there was
no chemistry. Let me tell you the story. In short, he came, he used, and he left. I guess you could say that
despite all that, I still loved him very much in my own way (hence my confusion over the definition of love).
Well, I'm so sorry for not being able to service his lordship when I was out earning my keep all day to put food
in his misshapen belly, or that it was my efforts and time which was keeping him in the comfort he was so accustomed
to. What else do you want? A pound of flesh? Prove him wrong that there was still chemistry? For goodness sake, who's
fooling who? Suddenly the veils of uncertainty which had been clouding my eyes were lifted and all I saw was a lazy
uncouth mass taking up space in my quarters. For someone who spent his life thinking that if he started work 2 hours
early and finished 2 hours early, he was hardworking. I'm sorry to break it to you mister, however you see it, you are
still working the standard hours. I bet that I have put more hours in to my work than you have, despite entering the
workforce two years behind you, I believe that I am on par, if not overtaken your pathetic attempt of a record you
call work ... so sit on a chair and rotate on that!
Let's face it, when a relationship ends, you aren't really devastated to see the back of that bastard/bitch,
but you are more upset that your dreams you have built around them have shattered to the ground ... As the Bard
says, "Ah my salad days, when I was green in judgement ..." The older you get, the narrower your vision becomes.
Let's just say that that the narrowness is a result of your cynicism. I mean, at the ripe old age of 25, I have a
lot to be cynical about. The prelude to sex is all pillow talk. They feed you with their clichéd lies .. be
wary of that.... (maybe except Tiberius - he's pretty much straight to the point, but that is rare)
While I am not in a market for a prince, I have many frogs thrown my way. After all, I had already experienced
true love. I'm just waiting for the crappy leftover. If you can find someone so pure that he rises above the
ashes debauchery and dishonesty, and comes without excess baggage, send him my way ....
I am a very reliable bullshit detector. Approach me at your own risk...