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Last
year, leading Democrap Congressmen John Conyers and Charles Rangel
(pictured) proposed a bill which would bring back the military draft.
This week, the Democrat urban legend mill went into overdrive in a
shameless attempt to scare college kids by telling them that Bush is planning on bringing back the draft (though nothing could
be further from the truth).
Although Rep. Rangel (inaccurately) claimed that African Americans were disproportionately serving on the front
lines in Iraq, I have to admit he does
have a point. It seems unfair that one segment of the
population would have to shoulder so much of the
burden. And since the men and women serving in our Armed Forces support
President Bush by an overwhelming margin, it's clear to me that we need to draft liberal democrats.
It's just not fair that Kerry supporters of military age aren't
pulling their share of the weight, and we need to
change that. Why should patriotic America lovers be the only ones
risking their lives? If the goal is "equity" (as the Democrats
claim it is), then shouldn't the pampered whiners on the left be
made to do their part as well?
I can hear some of you screaming "But who wants a limp-wristed Trustafarian white boy with dreadlocks fighting in
Iraq?" That is exactly my point. I for one am tired of seeing our best and brightest being killed and injured protecting
the ingrates of Iraq. Let's kill two birds with one stone and send the ingrates of America to live up to
their full potential.
Here are the four options for all you doped-out, feminized male Kerry supporters once you're drafted:
1) Human Shield
- There were a lot of you who went to Iraq before the war, but you
seemed a bit too eager to get out once the bombs started
dropping. It's humiliating that you were used as a propoganda tool for
a brutal dictator like Saddam Hussein. You brought shame upon yourself,
your family, and your country. Here's your chance to make it up. Go
back into the hot zones, and instead of guarding Saddam's military
installations, guard ours.
There's no need for our fine men and women serving in Iraq to be hit
with one more RPG when there are so many worthless people like YOU
around.
2) Roadside Cleanup
- Why don't you put your love of nature to work and help the people of
Iraq at the same time? The highways and byways are littered with
roadside bombs. Get a garbage bag, and do something useful for once in
your miserable life.
3) Hostage
- Normal Americans are sickened when we see so many Western
(or other) hostages being threatened with death (or worse, beheadded on
tape). Here's your chance to show that true commitment to
"peace" you've been prattling on about endlessly since 9/11. After
all, you seem to be such an expert, and you keep telling us that
President Bush is killing "innocent, peace-loving Muslims."
Here's your chance to show the "right-wingers" how wrong they are. I'm
sure the Islamists will truly appreciate your Sesame Street
mentality. What's the worst that could happen?
4) Secret Weapon
- This is what you were born to be. Use your overpowering body odor
to incapacitate America's enemies. Better yet, why not just bore
them to the point of suicide like you do here? Drone on
endlessly in your boring, monotone NPR voice about "Bush's
hegemony" and America's over-reliance on foreign oil. You'll
save the rest of us from having to listen to you, and you may just
get al Zarqawi to surrender.
So
when the man from the Draft Board comes to your door (as Dan
Rather claims will happen based upon his phony sources), don't
cry, whine, or try to talk your way out of it. Just accept
fate. And ladies (er, I mean "womyn"), don't think you're exempt.
Remember all the talk about "gender equity" and "womyn in combat" you
tried to cram down our throats over the past twenty years? Well your
dreams have been answered, and your ass will have to report for duty
as well. Isn't it wonderful?
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