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Hey Cooper,
I found your website just today and I love it! It is so right on
and funny! My (relative by marriage)
is Grade-A White Trash, complete with bastard kid and everything! The
kid's got a white trash name even...you can add it to your list...Twila
Kay. She's also a Welfare Queen! This woman makes me sick, and I hate
being related to her. She's a Social 'Tard if I ever met one! Add these
to your list....
Expect
your parents and/or family members to care for your kid while you are
in jail for stealing from other people who *gasp* actually WORK for
their money! Oh and then don't even thank them when they finally bail
you out due to the fact that they can't raise your kid for you.
Don't bother to teach your kid to eat with utensils, that's what hands are for!
Don't
EVER under any circumstances bring a change of clothes for your
kid when at family gatherings...others enjoy looking at the food
plastered all over their clothes.
Don't teach you kid how to speak..pointing and grunting, screaming and having a good
old tantrum work just fine!
Come
to all family gatherings with nothing to contribute. Don't bother to
bring a covered dish if it was asked of you. After all, you're living
off Uncle Sam, and we don't expect much of you. Just come and stuff
your face and let your kid run wild, too. That's what relatives are
for! Oh and while I'm at it...yell at other people when they try to
protect your child from getting run over by cars when they run into the
street.
Don't
bother to ever watch your kid while camping. Allow them to wander off
frequently and yell at top of lungs for said child.
When I think
of more...I'll send them to you!
Later,
Lynn
Dear Lynn,
Hilarious!
You nailed them all. That camping one really hit home. I HATE that. And
I especially liked the one about not bringing food to a family
gathering. Yeah, I just love it when (at a Fourth of July BBQ) the
person in charge of meat spends $80 on hamburgers, ribs, bratwurst and
even a couple of steaks, and the white trasher in charge of beverages
shells out about two bucks for a case of generic Wal-Mart Lemon-Lime
Soda.
And
there's nothing more annoying than a white trash (or other) brat who
can't communicate property (there's nothing wrong with them mentally,
it's just that "mom" never bothered to teach them to communicate like a
human being). I was in a CD store last week, when some 'tard
three year old kept screeching "Daadeee! Daadee!" to her father every
five seconds or so. Of course, her "dad" made no attempts to get her to
stop annoying the hell out of the humans in the store.
Actually,
now that I think of it, there IS something more annoying than a little
bastard yelling "daddy daddy" to her father in the store. It's when
they point at ME and say "daddy" (because they don't know their father,
and look upon any adult male as "daddy"). Christ, these people
shouldn't be allowed to breed.
I've
decided to dump William Dung, and pick YOU as my running mate. We can
enact our sterilization program for white trashers. Anyone with a
"Tattoo-to-Missing-Teeth" ratio greater than 0.5 will be sterilized in
order to save our civilization.
Deal?
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