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So, with Gary having just admitted that he thought Bush should be fired based upon his immediate reaction to 9/11, I
asked him this:
"So what was YOUR immediate reaction on 9/11?"
He paused, and said "what?"
I said, "Well, most people either went home that morning, or didn't come in to work at all. What did YOU do?"
Gary: "I don't know, but I'm not the president."
Me: "Well
what I heard, and I'm not being judgmental, is that when the news first
broke, and Mark brought in the TV, you started crying.
Is that true?"
Gary (annoyed): "So what's your point?"
Me: "My point is you're being a hypocrite when you make fun of Bush for just sitting there for seven minutes, when
YOU broke down crying, then went home."
Gary: "But that doesn't matter, I'm not the president."
Me: "No, you're not. But if Bush should lose his job for his immediate reaction on 9/11, then shouldn't
you lose your job for crying, then sitting at your desk for two weeks doing nothing at company expense?"
Gary
(really annoyed): "What the fuck? This isn't about ME, it's about
your buddy Bush Junior. Why don't we talk about him?"
Me (staying on topic): "Hey, I can admit I was a wreck the days following 9/11. We all were. But the way I hear
it, you
basically sat at your desk, glued to the radio for two weeks after
9/11. Then when the build-up to the war was going on, you kept looking
at alternative news websites and calling people about going to the
anti-war rally. And you did this on company time. So don't you think it would be good for you to do the right thing and quit?"
Gary (visibly upset) "Fuck you. What business is it of yours? You weren't even here!"
Me: "No, but I've heard the same thing from five different
people. You did nothing for two weeks after 9/11, apart from crying and
going home, then you sat at your desk and listened to
NPR. If you think Bush should lose his job, then clearly you should lose yours. Why don't you just quit and
put your money where your mouth is, Gary?"
(We went back and forth for a couple more minutes, then):
Gary (really pissed off) "FUCK YOU! Who the fuck do you think you are? This is bullshit! I'm outta here!"
Gary then stormed out of the office and slammed the door (at 11:45 AM on Friday).
Today
(Monday), he came back into the office (apparently as if nothing had
happened). But a lot HAD happened. For starters, our Branch Manager
called me in his office on Friday afternoon. He saw what had happened
and wanted to get my side. I told him I was tired of Gary always
shooting his mouth off about his left-wing politics. I told him that
nobody else wasted the company's time like Gary did, and that I just
wanted him to stop wasting MY time. This was the only way I could get
Gary to shut up. I told the manager straight up that
Gary should be fired. He said there was no need to fire him. Since
he ran out of the office and hadn't come back, if he wasn't back by the
end of the day with an explanation, he would consider that to be Gary's
resignation. Luckily for me, Gary didn't come back Friday.
So
this morning, when Gary showed up for work, the manager was waiting
there with his final paycheck. Bwahahahahaha! I would like to say that
I saw the whole thing, but in order to prevent a confrontation, our
manager told me to be out on calls this morning and not come in
until he called me. But the receptionist told me it went pretty
smoothly.
As
it turns out, our Branch Manager wanted nothing more than to fire Gary,
but he had been warned against it because Gary is a member of the
pillow-biting community. It would have taken a mountain of paperwork to
avoid a lawsuit. With his little tirade on Friday, he resigned, and
saved the company a whooooole lot of red tape.
I
can't tell you how good it feels to be rid of that asshole. Yes,
technically I didn't get him "fired," but Gary thought he could
throw a fit then take an extra 1/2 day off. I'm taking credit for
this. The entire office is glad to be rid of him, and they have
all offered to buy me lunch.
God I love America!
P.T.
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| Gary comes back for his Swingline stapler |
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