Cooper for President
I Got a Liberal Fired at Work Today! (By Cooper's Florida Campaign Manager, P.T.)
 

Here's something that happened to me last Friday at work. I'm happy to say I had a big hand in a Bush-hating democrat losing his job. Goodbye and good riddance.
 
I work in loan sales. It's a very competitive business, and the amount of money I make in any given month is determined by the number of sales I close. Predictably, most of the people I work with are Republicans. We know that it's up to us to do what needs to be done in order to make more money. I've been in the industry for about 12 years, but I've been with my current company for just under two.
 
A guy in our office (Gary) has been a pain in the ass since ever since I got there. He does just the bare minimum to keep his job, and he's always complaining about "we need to get rid of Bush." I've heard him even make political comments to customers (you don't do that in my line of work. It's just not professional behavior). Obviously, Gary is the only Democrat in my office. He has worked there for five years, and the rest of the staff can't stand him. Personally, I've taken his comments with a grain of salt, but not anymore.
 
It started the Monday after President Reagan died. Up until that point, I had put up with his comments about "because of Bush, the whole world hates us" and other crap. But after Reagan's death, this guy had the nerve to say he was glad he was dead, and that AIDS was Reagan's fault, blah blah blah. That really pissed me off. Then, after Michael Moore's movie came out, this guy kept talking about how the movie was going to put Kerry in the White House. Finally, I decided I wasn't going to put up with his bullshit anymore.
 
Last week, I finally decided to not only engage him in a debate, but I would make him so upset that he would quit. I didn't really have to do anything, because I knew he was going to start. I knew I could easily debunk most of the bullshit he was going to spew out, but just to gather additional ammo, I asked some of my colleagues about things Gary did BEFORE I started working there.
 
Since the Democratic National Convention was held last week, Gary told me I should watch it and then make up my mind about who should be president. On Friday, things came to a head. He asked me what I thought about Kerry's speech, and I told him the truth. I was unimpressed, and Kerry kept contradicting himself. That's my problem with the Democrats. They take so many sides of issues, they end up cancelling out their own arguments. I also told him that I thought it was a slap in the face to our military to have Michael Moore sitting there in the Presidential Box. Gary then told me that Moore actually "loves" America, and he did a great service by showing us the "truth" about Bush in Fahrenheit 911.
 
This was the opening I was waiting for. Since I'm not a lightweight (like Bill O'Reilly), I can think on my feet and hit people with facts. Bill O'Reilly had his ass handed to him by Michael Moore last week, and it made me sick to my stomach. I can't believe he let Moore get away with his "Bush is deliberately sending people to die" premise. I'll never listen to that self-promoting jackass lightweight again. That was probably another reason I was so pissed.
 
Anyway, we discussed Fahrenheit 911, and Gary said that "you just have to see it. You have to see Bush's reaction when he was at that school and was told that the first plane hit the World Trade Center." I asked him what Bush's reaction was. He said "He just sat there for seven minutes, looking really uncomfortable like he didn't know what to do." So I asked him if he was aware of the principal of that school saying in an interview that she was there when Bush was told of the news, and that she was IMPRESSED with his reaction. She said that it was brave of him NOT to go running out of the room, or excusing himself and leaving. In fact, even though she's a Democrat, she said she definitely would have voted for Bush on that day.
 
Gary said he was not aware of that, but it didn't matter. He said that the principal was probably just being nice, and that Bush's reaction on 9/11 was proof that he wasn't fit to lead. So I confirmed with Gary that he thought since Bush didn't act tough in the minutes immediately following the first attack, he should lose his job. Gary said "yes." He had walked right into my trap.
 
 

(C) 2004, Cooper for President