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Hey
there, boys and girls! How would you like to go to Summer Camp? This
year, the Vacation Bible Schools your parents grew up with have been
transformed into "Camp Creation," a fun, Christian-based day camp,
complete with a "Davey and Goliath" theme! It's OK if you're not a
Christian - the ACLU has now mandated that Christian day camps must
create more diverse programs that include ALL FAITHS and beliefs. And
the good news is, it's FREE. That's right, those nasty Christians not
only have to bend over backwards to suit your depraved lifestyle, they
have to foot the bill! Here's a list:
For Christians, there's Camp Creation
For Eco-Terrorists, it's Camp Cremation
If you're a New-Age Nitwit, go to Camp Reincarnation
If your daughter is a teenage slut, send her to Camp Fornication
... then for nine months, it becomes Camp Gestation
... unless you want to kill the baby, then just drop by Camp Termination
If you're a budding fake documentation (a la Michael Moore), try Camp Fabrication
If you're a doped-out loser, stagger on over to Camp Hallucination
For socially retarded Lord of the Rings goobers, who couldn't get a date if their lives depended on it,
there's Camp Masturbation
If you like to choke people during sex (or if you're Lattrel Sprewell), there's Camp Strangulation
If your son fell into a vat of nuclear waste, and he's grown flippers, send him to Camp Mutation
If you're a post-modern Seattle or Portland feminazi peacenik, and you want to turn your son into a complete
pussy, send him to Camp Feminization
If you're a modern race-baiter like Jesse Jackson, and you don't want your kids mingling with
those "blue-eyed devils," ship them off to Camp Segregation
If you're worried your daughter won't be "lesbo-chic" enough for today's world, send her to Camp Exploration
If you're a left-wing guilt-ridden white NPR 'tard, and you don't want other whites moving into the inner
city (because you don't want to increase property values), we've got Camp Gentrification
If you're an America-hating Democrap, and you want to make our troops feel like killing themselves, go
to Camp Demoralization
And if a REAL American calls your bogus "patriotism" into question, be sure to display your outrage at Camp
Phony Indignation
If you want to score big money with insider trading (like George Soros, Terry McAuliffe and Martha Stewart) send
your little brat to Camp Market Manipulation
And finally, if you're a member of the Religion of Peace, send your kid to Camp Decaptiation
... sign up NOW, operators are standing by.
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